My Testimony of The Gospel of Jesus Christ

I was raised LDS in a great ward that I truly appreciated, and bonded to as the members gave me the only validation available to me, since both my parents made no bones about their contempt for my existence. I truly suckled all the kindness possible from the eyes of my substitute fathers and mothers in that home ward in my earliest days. The wisdom in me to save my vulnerable soul in such a sly way must have been my first gift of God. I did the same with all my friend's moms. And they all knew something was up but never refused me the kind look I needed to see.

Something changed by my teen years. The ward became unwelcoming and accepting when I stopped attending. Because my companion called and asked me to go I still did home teaching with him.  I never refused to say prayers as a home teacher or with the family at dinner time. For whatever reason my senior companion stopped calling. He nor anyone from my ward ever in two years attempted to contact me or ask me what's up.

The two years or more that I was inactive were important as during all that time I refrained by default from partaking of the sacrament. Hence I was not partaking unworthily and the condemnation of the Father was lessened upon me, such, that what needed to happen soon in my life was made possible. This is a snare for hypocrisy. The gospel is not done right in disobedience. Of course I did not realize the significance of this at the time.

This very point is why Mormons who attempt to come unto Christ fail miserably. They are under condemnation already, while thinking they are faithful in keeping the commandments they thoughtlessly partake of the sacrament administered by an unwise leadership who do not themselves know how to discern between clean and unclean. Never judging as commanded between those whose names are to be taken and those who need to yet repent. The same with allowing all to enter the temple unworthily. None are taught how to become clean before the Lord. Arrogance and pride rule in their hearts trampling upon the Holy One of Israel, showing only contempt for his commandments. This is apostasy and the rule of the world.

Any kid who knows both parents hate him is dysfunctional on at least a few levels. I managed to sing and play bass guitar in a couple great bands back in the day. But at the same time those parts of me that failed seemed to matter most.

Growing up LDS I believed in God without any doubts, but could not imagine that I mattered in the least. I relegated my expectations to a terrestrial glory. Yeah, I remember thinking that. In an effort to find myself I left home immediately upon graduation from High School in 1969.

I lived briefly with Hippies in Boulder Colorado but could not indulge in their culture. When I made a decision to forsake them it was like forsaking my hope that the world at large had the answer for me. I barely noticed but the slightest spiritual confirmation inside me manifested a feeling of being loved as I walked away from those people and that truly amazed me. I thought myself utterly unworthy of God's love, because, if he loved me, I did not deserve being hated by my parents, and I had to protect them against fault, so I could love them regardless, just so love existed somehow. What a kid. I never stopped trying to get my parents to care. My most frustrating dysfunction was not accepting being loved especially by those I loved.  I could not relate to it and that was my biggest problem. This had to be fixed.

Within six months time while living alone in Los Angeles and  finally taking a month from ALL other considerations, I was drawn to come unto Christ with full purpose of heart. This was between me and God only. I was alone without any contact with the Church.  I walked every day down to the Santa Monica beach and back. Usually passing by the LA temple. It was about a sixteen mile round trip. All day each day I had only one thought in mind and that was seeking to earnestly repent and make myself acceptable to God.

With no expectation of it I was one night visited of God. That event manifests God's reality by the experience of an Almighty power that falls upon you, like from out of the blue, having no thought about it when it hits. It is the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost.  Interestingly enough I realized after praying just before this occurred that I had repented in the depths of humility with my whole soul and there was no more I could do.

This ratification of the gospel when done right makes you a new creature. Suddenly what was a weakness becomes a strength what was doubt or ignorance becomes a perfect knowledge. Having been made purposefully weak in so many was growing up the absolute contrast from that reality to the overall strength of heart, might and mind galvanized my soul beyond all question in proving God is true and will fulfill his promises. You are not given to know all about God, except that he is, and you have rights with him from then on. This is being raised to a state of righteousness. Rights with God. You have entered into his kingdom. God is now your teacher. There is no faking this. And God is a great teacher and patient and at times may knock you down to consider your ways.

That is my foundation. It is the rock of Christ. And it has stood the test of unbelievable persecution from everyone Mormon, my family, friends and church leaders. All were put off at my teaching this standard ever since. And throughout the last 44 years I have been added upon much much more than my fellows, as if peerless in my time. Not that I like it that way. Seems to be so anyway.

If in all the years since had I ever so much as heard one other teach this gospel, which is the only gospel found in scripture, then I could suppose that there are more. I have not  heard so much as a peep from any quarter about the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost honestly consistent with what scripture commands. The gospel of Christ is taken lightly by all churches not wanting to judge in the matter.  Ministers excuse people from it rather than insist upon it to honor the Lord. They do not know because they did not do it themselves. When it is done right by more than one individual a Zion must come of it when gathered together. There is no Zion.

I am saying that you can believe the promises of scripture exactly as they are given. You can come unto Christ with full purpose of heart and repent to take his name upon you acting no hypocrisy and taking no thought for your life while you seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. God will fulfill his promise if you seek it with all your heart, might, mind and strength.

Children are not taught to grow up without sin unto salvation. You did not get this when your ordinances were performed at the age of eight. There is no power manifested in the least to demonstrate otherwise. Neither do you get this degree of righteousness accepting Jesus as your personal Savior even when you surrender your all to him after the imagination of your own heart. It is not what you do, even after all you can do. It remains upon God the Father to fulfill his promise. There is no power until God is moved. What you choose to do or are invited to do at the behest of a minister is of no worth if God is not moved to fulfill his promise. The vanity of man does not work the righteousness of God.

Without knowing beforehand I was led to accomplish the gospel precisely right. I have seen the kingdom in scripture and it is only brought forth after the same manner. If you think you have tried and failed I am telling you something was amiss. I never thought for a second that I deserved it for any reason. I withheld nothing. Without a coach or minister I was brought to repent exactly right.

I was cut out of the mountain of the apostate world without hands. I have never ceased but to smite against the apostate Babylon that tramples upon the Holy One of Israel. This they do by manifold counterfeit gospels that each fail to bring forth fruit meet for the Father's kingdom and the Zion of his Christ. That fruit is the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost, whereby you are made the children of Christ and truly born of God, and given entrance and rights to the kingdom of God and made clean.

And of such God never neglects or leaves them to another. All these are taught of God. They are given line upon line and precept upon precept as they live and move and have their being in Christ, remembering him and thinking upon him without ceasing.